Carol Dockum: How Meditative Practices Can Lead To A Bigger Life Purpose

 

Despite meditative practices being credited as an excellent way to find inner peace and purpose, many people still disregard it as a lazy and monotonous routine. But the truth is, it really boils down to how you do it, and it’s up to you how to spice it up. Entrepreneur Carol Dockum joins Rebecca Victor in sharing how they discovered the most rewarding form of meditation for them, unlocking their quiet place where rejuvenation and inspiration bloom. Carol also calls women’s attention to step up as leaders and bring out the best in each other by setting an example, which she did herself by building the mighty network of Beautiful Faces Going Places.

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Carol Dockum: How Meditative Practices Can Lead To A Bigger Life Purpose 

I’m excited to introduce to you a friend and a colleague named Carol Dockum, who’s going to be interviewed. Thank you for being here, Carol.  

Thank you, Rebecca, for the invitation to be on your show. I’m thrilled and honored to be here.  

I’ve felt that way. I’ve loved all the different women that get to come on and I’ve enjoyed our time together and what I have learned from you and with you. The women and the individual, heart-centered men as well will enjoy your story. Before we begin in it, what I wanted to do is share a bit with our audience about you. Carol Dockum is the CEO and Founder of Beautiful Faces Going Places, a women’s success network. She is a former Chamber of Commerce President, a real estate agent, and an adjunct professor who has joined the ranks of entrepreneurs and women in business. Carol considers herself a lifetime learner and a success champion, creating opportunities to market and promote women in business with her online visibility, education, and networking membership organization for speakers, trainers and coaches, and a mighty empowering network of Beautiful Faces Going Places.  

Carol has lived internationally in Madrid, London, Moscow and Rome, and brings an appreciation for culture, diversity and global impact. The world truly is a small place. Carol believes that by empowering, inspiring and supporting women in business, small business owners and entrepreneurs through education, information and resources, and by creating opportunities to spark conversations to make new connections, we can ignite and live in the ripple effect. Isn’t that ripple effect a powerful thing? By a simple action, what we do has that effect that goes out and touches others, doesn’t it?  

What we say and how we behave can affect other people, even our smallest words or actions.  Click To Tweet

It truly does. I love that ripple effect as well. Our words, our actions, what we do, what we say, and how we behave can affect other people even if they’re small little actions.  

Sometimes it’s a simple smile, a nod, it could be the opening of a door, an acknowledgment, little things, picking up something. I can’t tell you how many times a simple thing when my kids would pick something up off the floor. I’d be like, “That feels so good.” What I’d love to hear from you is tell us a little bit about yourself and how for you turning within for guidance and understanding has helped you.  

As you mentioned in that beautiful introduction, I have lived internationally. That has provided me with a world of experiences and meeting new people, new faces and different cultures, and an appreciation for diverse people around the world. What I discovered is that we’re basically all the same. We’re all humans living a life on planet Earth. We all need the same things, love, happiness, appreciation, acknowledgement, and to be valued. Those are some of the things that I’ve discovered like a little golden thread around the globe that we all have in common. There are many commonalities. My journey of living from within happened when I repatriated back to the USA.  

I found it very challenging. I may have been clinically depressed and not knowing that because after living abroad for such a long period of time, it was thirteen years of living abroad and then repatriating back to the USA it was almost as if I had landed on Mars. It was a foreign country to me and a new way of living again, and saying goodbye to all the adventures and the life that I still loved and appreciated at the time. It was hitting that point that forced me to start thinking about and appreciating life, and what I do have in front of me versus what I had.  

When I’m listening to you, it felt like a big loss moving and repatriating back into the United States, and a shock.  

That’s not what I wanted in my life, but we had to move back to the USA for work and to be closer to family once again. It was a loss. That was a turning point in terms of reflecting and turning within. Once I discovered Think and Grow Rich, that’s a great book, and that thoughts become things. If you change your perspective and the way you look at things, the way you see your world around you or your environment, you can change your life. I’m grateful to that book Think and Grow Rich and Napoleon Hill. It was very powerful for me.  

How did that little book come into your life? How did you become aware of it?  

I’m not quite sure because that was pre-social media days. That was several years ago that my family repatriated back to the USA. I remember trying to take daily walks so that I’d have an hour a day to myself to walk and enjoy the outdoors and that quiet time. I cannot think how I found Think and Grow Rich because it was pre-access to social media, pre-Google. I discovered that book. I either checked it out at the library or at a bookstore. I read it and found it so helpful.  

 

It came at the right time. 

If we step back, a lot of things come to us at the right time when we need it, whether we’re aware of it or not.  

It is what it is. We’re not sometimes like, “Maybe this is a good thing if we open to it being a good thing.” I love the energy that you were sharing when you said you would take nice long walks to connect with yourself. Nature is a powerful thing too. I find it wonderful. It’s calming, soothing, healing. When you would turn within, is that where you found yourself going, turning within nature and reading? Did you journal? What are the things that helped you?  

I have never journaled. Walking, reading and finding quiet time or alone time. I discovered meditation. At first, I thought, “Really? Meditation?” Initially, my thoughts were, “That’s supposed to help. Is it taking a nap?” I discovered meditation a few years ago. That is a true inward time to quiet your mind. We have so much noise and chatter going on between our two ears. It’s important to have that quiet time where there are no thoughts, no emotions, no feelings, you’re still. In that stillness, when you come out of that meditation or that stillness, it’s almost as if you’re re-energized.  

When you were starting to learn to meditate, what drew you to meditation? We’re you looking for something? 

I believe I was looking for something and not knowing what that looked like, but I discovered, “Try meditation to quiet your mind so that we don’t have so much noise and chatter, and to be still.” Once you’re in that stillness, you’re almost in your zone. You then come out of your meditation and you feel rejuvenated and re-energized. You’re almost ready to take on the world and you can do anything.  

When you experienced meditation, is it quieting and stillness? Do you find yourself hearing things? I love listening to how different people experience meditation. Sometimes we get caught up in the idea that meditation has to look one way. I know for myself, I have a lot of energy in my body and it has taken me a long time to quiet my body down. I had to learn meditation techniques that allowed me movement. That was an important thing. What about for you?  

Sometimes even when I do meditate, my mind is still going and then I have to say to myself, “Stop thinking.” Each time is different. There are some days where a 15, 30-minute quieting the mind meditation that I’m more in the zone, and I can shut everything down and have stillness. Other days, you try it but your mind is still wandering or you’re thinking of the next thing you’re supposed to be doing now or on your to-do list. Out there in the world, there’s a definition of what it should be like, but we’re humans. We’ve got minds, our body, and all the energy. It’s tough. It’s not an easy thing to quiet your mind and to be in that still place. It’s challenging. I do believe that by practicing it over time, you can get there. It becomes easier and easier. 

I know for me, it’s letting go of having to look a certain way. People would say they get ideas or what, mine was always very quiet. Sometimes it’s like, “Anybody out there?” Learning like, “There’s that leaf. I don’t need to change it. Let it go along with the stream water. I don’t need to follow it.” I find afterwards that energy is there. It’s like, “There’s somehow when the day feels better.” There are even times when I meditate where I feel like, “Have I been asleep?” Sometimes I know I’m gone. Do you have a place in your home? Do you have a space that you call your own for this stuff? How do you create and honor that turning within process for you?  

It’s in my room. I close the door, get in a relaxed position, close my eyes, shut out the world, and have that quiet time.  

What have you discovered as you’ve done that? You’re grateful that you’re like, “I’m glad I meditate because I’ve discovered this because of that?” 

I’m more in a position to handle life. A lot of inspiration comes afterwards because I’m not caught up in all the how–tos, but inspiration follows that. There’s less blockage and less resistance. The opportunities open up. I’m in a better space and a better place.  

Is it like a lighter feeling? 

If we step back, many things come to us at the right time, whether we're aware of it or not.  Click To Tweet

Yes. It’s less resistance, less being caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, list of things to do, and challenges too, especially during 2020. It’s been a challenging year for everyone.  

It’s practicing that inward movement. How has it helped you deal with all the different types of change that you’re witnessing, all the chaos? Chaos is changed It’s like digging up the silt to replant something new. 

It is chaotic. I haven’t stepped back to think of chaos has changed, but 2020 has been a chaotic year of change. What I’m noticing as I work with women in business and entrepreneurs, small business owners, we’ve had to adapt, innovate, leverage technology, and not be afraid of change and chaos. You embrace it. The meditation, the stillness, and the quietness helps deal with all of that.  

Do you get a chance to get out in nature much? 

On nice days.  

When it gets snowing and cold, “Do I want to go outside?”  

It was snowing here in the greater Cincinnati area and I’ve got a beautiful window in my office, I opened up the shutters and watch the snowflakes fall down. It was spectacular and almost magical.  

That’s so rejuvenating.  

That is such a beautiful view. How do I capture this point of time because it was so stunning? It’s celebrating those small moments and taking it all in.  

 

It’s not like it has to be anything huge. It doesn’t have to be this life altering thing to find pleasure, enjoy and experience the gift in it. It’s the power of opening up your window and looking out and seeing the snowfall. They’re so beautiful. 

It’s appreciating with gratitude te little things in life that have been helpful and beneficial. That all comes from within, appreciation, gratitude, and finding the joy in the little things.  

To me, meditation is almost like taking a walk around the block versus driving fast around the block. When I’m driving, there’s no real connection with anything. I’m aware. I’m moving. It’s great. When I pause to walk, all of a sudden, I noticed the grass, the flowers, the statute that somebody put in their yard or how they’ve colored it this way. It opens up a whole new opportunity to witness something at a deeper and more profound level.  

Also, not be in that mode of rush–ness.  

How for you has this gift of turning inward helped you with your business, helped you where you are now as you work with other women and support other women? How has it been supportive of you in achieving your dreams and your goals?  

It has helped me when I’m able to quiet my mind, and quiet the noise and the chatter. That noise and chatter can come from fear, doubt. Noise and chatter about whether I’m in confidence, whether or not I can do things or not do things. That noise and chatter can be doubt in myself and/or worried about what others think. Having that opportunity to become still and quiet removes all of that, which creates resistance. I always like to say, “If you could remove all of those obstacles that you think you have, let’s imagine or pretend that they’re gone, that they don’t exist, what would you do? What would your life look like?” Sometimes what’s stopping us is only right here between our ears. What’s stopping us from taking action? What’s stopping us from picking up that phone and making that call to a prospect or a potential client or a customer, especially if you believe in what you have to offer and can truly help that individual? What’s stopping us from launching our podcasts? What’s stopping us from writing that book? It’s all in between our ears.  

If you could stop that chatter and that noise that’s going on between our ears, it’s all in our head. Remove those and imagine if they did not exist, fear, doubt, what other people think, whether questioning your own abilities and your own true talents. Imagine what you could create, because it’s there, especially if you thought of it. I think about four years ago, when I had this vision of creating an online chamber of commerce for women in business. I shared that vision with family and friends, those that love you and close to you. They will first tell you whatever is on their mind whether we want to hear it or not, “What makes you think you can do this?” They mean well. I know I can. That’s my background and my skillset. I can run a chamber of commerce in my sleep. If I can do that for an organization, I can do it for my own company. I don’t know if that makes sense, but that would be my message. Believe in yourself. If you have an idea, a passion, or something that you would love to do, achieve or jump at a new venture, the possibilities are all there, especially if you thought of it. 

It draws me back to the book that you were talking about, Napoleon Hill’s book. When you think about what you were sharing, what was one of the principles that he presented in his book that aligns with that?  

Thoughts become things. We create our reality. What you focus on grows and like attracts like. It’s powerful if you step back and think about it. We’re talking about thinking. How you think and how you feel, your emotions all drives and create our reality and our environment. There was something that I had read or a point in terms of if you step back and take a look at everything in your world right now, you’ve brought it into your life through a thought, a vibration, the energy that you put out into the world, what you’re focusing on, you’ve created and brought it into your life, your experiences. It’s not just things, but your experiences, the people all through your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, your vibration that you’re putting out into the world and what you’re focusing on. When you think about it, then you’re like, “What are the thoughts that are going through my head? How am I feeling? What am I putting out into the world?” If you don’t like what you see, you can change it. You have the power to change it and choose different thoughts, different feelings, different emotions that feel better.  

Also, to know that it’s a process. 

It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a lifelong journey. You can’t sit there and go, “I’m going to visualize this and expect that to happen in the next five minutes.” It’s a way of being, but first you have to be aware.  

What gives that to you, that awareness? 

Become aware of your thoughts and what you are thinking. Are you going down a negative rabbit hole? That fear, that doubt, that questioning yourself or blaming others. If you’re going down that rabbit hole, you’ve got to catch yourself, and then slap yourself.  

What's stopping us from chasing after bigger things is right between our ears. Click To Tweet

One of the things you had mentioned there is the idea what we put our attention on, or what we focused on is what we begin to generate and what grows. How can I shift something I don’t want when I’m in my mind going, “I don’t want this anymore?” I try to focus on that other thing. Yet, it keeps coming through my mind and I’m like, “How do I handle that? How do I deal with that thought if there’s this shifting time?” Before, I can see it as a leaf down a little river and let it go. At least for me, there was that intermediary step. I remember listening to this woman talk, and I appreciate what she had to say. She’d said, “If something’s coming up, a thought and you don’t want it, instead of fighting it, just say, ‘Thank you so much. I choose this instead.’” I like that because I get to turn my attention. I can acknowledge it because there was something in me that has to acknowledge it or did at the time. I was grateful that this idea came forward that I could do that and shift it still.  

I love the idea of acknowledging it, but I choose this instead, instead of slapping yourself. 

What’s wonderful was the idea that our journey isn’t about a perfect path. What we have in our mind is this idea of perfection. It’s unique to each of us. Have you had to deal with a concept of perfection in your own mind? 

Absolutely. As I mentioned, I had the vision of my company several years ago, I spent two years researching, “How do I do this?” I’m taking every webinar and seminar, purchasing this and that thinking, “This is the answer.” That was two years of researching and then finally, I had to say to myself, “You know what you need to do. What would you do if you were running your chamber of commerce? I would pick a date time and place. I’d create an all-day women’s conference, bring in the speakers, create the agenda, the itinerary, create an experience that will help women in business, and the marketing materials, get it out there. A ribbon cutting and launch my company, order those big scissors, bright red, beautiful ribbon and launch my company with a ribbon cutting.”  

That’s exactly what I did a few years ago. The answer is all within. It lies within. We know what we need to do. We have to get out of our own way, the doubt, the fear, what will other people think? I did have a friend come up to me after that launch, that ribbon cutting event that said, “I didn’t know you had this in you.” I took it as a compliment and I was grateful for that, but it made me realize that I had it within me all along. She had never seen me in that role, but I created the vision that this is who I am. This is the role that I play, but she had not seen me in that light before, so that was a big eye–opener for me. 

It’s like that a-ha moment. Sometimes, don’t you feel that those a-ha moments are not only things that are mental, but they almost move in different levels of who you are, the depth and it’s connecting? At least when I have a-ha moments at times, it’s not only mental, but there’s emotional and an intuitive connection. It feels like it resonates in a variety of different ways within me. Do you ever have that feeling? 

Absolutely. All the time.  

It’s a joy to discover yourself being so much more than you ever thought you were.  

Also, allowing the world to see that. That’s the other thing. Once I launched the company, it was like go time. Let’s get some more programming on the calendar and the schedule. Let’s bring in these speakers, trainers, coaches and experts that have value that can help a woman in business or a small business owner out there in the world. Deliver some fantastic knowledge content, whatever that specialness is from that speaker, trainer, coach. Get that out into the world and let’s help entrepreneurs be successful. That was a magical moment. 

How do you take this then? What is it that you are seeing the potential for women being? When you look at this, what do you see the potential for women now in society, in business and in general through this time of change? How do you see women stepping forward? 

 

This is an opportune time to step into your greatness. You know you have the knowledge, the experience, the background. Now more than ever, it’s needed. A lot of us are working from home, we’re social distancing, there’s isolation, but everyone’s online. We have the technology. We have the tools at our fingertips. If you are an entrepreneur, a woman in business, or you’re an expert and you have something that will help others, you solve a problem. I’m a businessperson and entrepreneur. I taught marketing, advertising and consumer behavior in Europe. I’m always thinking that way. My mind is a business mind. I’m like, “Let’s bring in all the experts. Somebody might need help with financing, business strategy, marketing or social media.” There are all these elements of being an entrepreneur and running a small business. We don’t have it all together. You might need help with back-office and systems. There are many elements to running a successful business and we don’t always have it all together. There are women out there and men that are experts that can help. Tap into it. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. We all have access to this information. We’re in an information, technology, virtual world. Whatever you need is out there. 

I speak to women because that’s your focus. I also honor men because I’m not into these men against women stuff. We’re all working together to understand who we are and to learn what it is that we bring. In certain areas, both women and men have been underdeveloped. Those energies that we all bring are important to balance and to create that sense of wholeness rather than part of the balloon deflated in one area. When you’re thinking about working with women and in business, why is it them for you? What do you want to see? How do you see women? Sometimes we’re afraid to step out as women to own what we bring. 

I focus on women in business because number one, I am a woman. I have been in the corporate world. I have been in marketing and sales. I’ve been an adjunct professor, a real estate agent, and then leading a chamber of commerce with local business leaders in a local community. Historically, there are fewer women in leadership roles. A lot of it stems from upbringing and culture. We all know that there is a glass ceiling for women in leadership positions, though I believe that glass ceiling has been broken. It is time for women to step up in leadership roles and to share their voice to lead. We are smart and intelligent. Women may lead in different ways than men. We do have the power, the capability, and the intellectual capacity to run very successful businesses, corporations, countries and leadership. 

I have a program that I teach with respect to women in leadership. One of the things that comes out of this program are women saying, “I wish men could learn about us and understand some of the things that we go through.” It’s nice to be understood, but I often wonder why we are waiting for someone else to acknowledge what it is for us to acknowledge within ourselves instead of putting the onus on men. It’s also understanding men in their own environment. It’s been competitive. Their taught oftentimes from young to be competitive. It’s a totally different energy. At least I know in my work with men, I came, I delivered, and it was fine. I had no real issues when I worked in male dominated environments. What do you say to that? 

It’s a matter of culture, environment, and how we’re all brought up. Men and women see things differently from different lenses. If you can understand the different lenses, and that can also be even women working with women, or it could be within families as well. We can all be looking at the same picture, the same evidence, the same elements of a situation but perceive it differently because we have different lenses based on our background and how we view and see the world. Women have a tendency to be more understanding and have a different way of working with one another. If we all could be more understanding of each other’s perceptions or positions, and then figure out a way to come to an understanding and an agreement by being respectful of each other’s viewpoints, we could see much more win-win situations or win-win outcomes, but it’s the backgrounds. 

How do you think an inward journey can help women to own their authenticity and to create that balance for themselves in business, at home or wherever they find themselves engaged? 

It comes from believing in yourself, your values, your perspective. That’s where understanding your inwardness comes from because then you’re not going to doubt yourself.  

Even if that happens, you still can go within and stand in your own power. 

Stand in your own power and your own voice without worrying what others think. That all comes from within.  

This has been enjoyable. As we’re getting ready to conclude, what is it that you would like to share as a last-minute thought to individuals out there who are readers? 

Believe in yourself, stand in your power, remove all the doubts and the chatter that’s going on. If you can do that, you will be unstoppable in 2021 or moving forward in life. You have the answers within yourself.  

That’s a powerful one. You have the answers in you. Now you can get to take the time to find those answers and let them come to you. I want to thank you so much for this opportunity for you and I to connect. It’s been a joy. It’s been a lot of fun and I look forward to future opportunities.  

Thank you so much, Rebecca. This has been a sheer joy and a great pleasure. I always enjoy having conversations with you. I’m excited about your show. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this.  

It’s my joy and pleasure. I appreciate what you do with your networking group, your online business, Chamber of Commerce. I love that and how you truly touch women, and allow and help women to connect with one another and to get what they need, because there are many different kinds of women there. The different programs that you have are there to serve in different ways through that. I loved how you came up with Beautiful Faces Going Places, how it came up to you. It came into you at a convention you were at. I was like, “I need to know that.” I’m grateful that you followed that. It’s been enjoyable being a part of it.  

Thank you so much. This has been wonderful.  

To our audience, thank you for joining us. I hope you’ve had a good time reading and sharing, and that it enabled you to tap into something special within you that’s waiting for you to hear it. Have a wonderful day, enjoy your life and take some time now for you so that you can make it a good one for you. 

 Important Links:

• Beautiful Faces Going Places 
• Think and Grow Rich 
• https://www.Facebook.com/BeautifulFacesGoingPlacesNetwork 
• https://www.Youtube.com/channel/UCkim8Gf60LDDKi-Sa5dFtCA?view_as=subscriber 
• https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/caroldockum/ 

About Carol Dockum

Carol Dockum, CEO & Founder, Beautiful Faces Going Places – Women’s Success Network is a former Chamber of Commerce, President, Real Estate Agent and Adjunct Professor who has joined the ranks of entrepreneurs and women in business. Carol considers herself a Life Time Learner and a Success Champion creating opportunities to market and promote women in business with her online visibility, education & networking membership organization for speakers, trainers and coaches, and an empowering Mighty Network at Beautiful Faces Going Places.

Carol has lived internationally; Madrid, London, Moscow and Rome, and brings an appreciation for culture, diversity and global impact – the world truly is a small place. Carol believes that by empowering, inspiring and supporting women in business, small business owners & entrepreneurs through education, information, resources and by creating opportunities to spark conversations and make new connections, we can ignite and live in the Ripple Effect.