Loosening The Grip: The Six Guiding Principles Of The Inward Journey Pt. 1

 

The more the world becomes chaotic, the more we need to go deep inside. The one thing we know is certain for this guidance is ourselves. In this episode, Rebecca Victor takes you to the start of your inward journey by breaking down its six guiding principles. Starting off this three-part series, she takes us into the first two of those principles—willingness and openness. Many of us unknowingly continue to hold on to beliefs that longer fit us. It is time to stop hurting ourselves and start opening up to more possibilities. Follow Rebecca as you allow yourself to let go of the old ideas and beliefs that no longer serve you, and start loosening the grip. 

—

Listen to the podcast here:

Loosening The Grip: The Six Guiding Principles Of The Inward Journey Pt. 1

The topic for our conversation in this episode is loosening the grip. I had to pause there for a minute because I’m like, “Why are you saying conversation, Rebecca? There’s not somebody there communicating back with you readily.” What I hope is that by conversation, if something strikes you or you’ve got a thought you want to share, that you’ll go ahead and share that so that we can hear what you have to say, sharing your thoughts or ways to expand that make the discussion even more valuable because it’s more well-rounded. When I think about loosening the grip, it’s around letting go of the grip I have on old ideas, thoughts or beliefs that no longer fit, but I don’t know what to do differently. 

Even though the old ideas aren’t serving me and it can be rather painful, I hang on to them, practice them or believe in them anyway because at least I know what to expect. It’s also part of a habit that I’ve developed. If I want to let go of this old idea and loosen my grip on it, then it means I have to come up with a new idea to replace it, but then I’ve got to practice new ways of using this idea or applying it. It’s not necessarily an easy thing. I don’t know how many of you out there struggle with holding onto old ideas and beliefs that have no value for you in your life anymore. You’re like, “I can’t believe I’m still holding onto this thing.” 

When I get in that space, I choose to loosen my grip on the old, outdated idea. This enables me to turn within. Loosening my grip is a process I practice when I’m holding strongly onto a belief that isn’t helpful to me and I’m not quite sure why I continue to hold on to it. I then ask myself a question that I learned many years ago, “Would you rather be right or be happy?”  

When I was first asked that question I felt confused by it. I realized that sometimes holding onto an old belief was my way of saying I wanted to be right, but then it never dawned on me that I could be happy and be wrong.” With my growth over the years, I’ve come to understand that question from a different perspective. I want to share with you the idea that sometimes this grip on an outdated idea would represent a strong desire for me to prove myself right because I believe that somehow looking at it in a different way would hinder me. 

We have to be willing to open up to the idea that there might be a better way to see something or to experience something. Click To Tweet

When I’m taking this inward journey, it’s going to require me to look at old ideas that are not serving me. If you choose to do that process, then more than likely, you’re going to be faced with old ideas that are not serving you anymore, old beliefs, old ways of doing things, or ways of engaging. I do spiritual practitioning work with people. We take a look at their thought forms and their beliefs, and look to see how those may or may not be supporting them, and how they can adjust their thought processes. Part of my training required years of classes. While I was taking one class there was something that came up that caused me to feel frightened. 

I went to the director of the program and was telling her some of my concerns about my beliefs. I liked the new ideas I was learning, yet I struggled to let go of the spiritual belief structure of my youth. Those old beliefs were making less and less sense to me. Rather than feeling free and expansive, it felt squishy. It was like I was trying to be forced into this box that I didn’t fit anymore. It’s like, “I’m a grown woman. Don’t put me in the shoe that I wore when I was five. My feet won’t like it.” It’s that same feeling. I didn’t fit anymore, but I didn’t want to negate or where I was or where I’d come from with that belief structure. I just knew it wasn’t working for me anymore. 

As I was moving through the program, it was requiring me to look at my ideas and beliefs in such a way that again felt frightening. When I was talking to the director, one of the things we have to do in that program, in order to be of service in the most open way, was to know where we were vulnerable, where we were strong, and know what our understandings were so we could teach and listen well. I went in to talk to her and at that point, the fear was so great that I was almost frozen. At that time, I looked at her and she said, “It’s okay not to take this all at once. It’s okay to take it in tiny pieces. The key is, are you willing to take it?” I looked at her. Honestly, at that point, my perception of my relationship with the source of my life was not a good one. I didn’t have a lot of trust in that entity. I perceived it to be very judgmental. I’m like, “I don’t know.” I was paranoid. 

 

I said, “I don’t know if I’m even willing,” but there’s something in me that wanted it. I want to learn. I want to grow. Yet, it feels huge and petrifying. She looked at me and she said, “Would you be willing to be willing?” As soon as she said that I could breathe and I’m like, “I’m willing to dip my toe,” because that’s what it felt like. Being willing was like saying, “Are you willing to jump in the pool full bore, not having to swim?” No, but if I’m willing to be willing, it felt like I could stick my toe in it and test the waters and say, “Do I like the water? Do I like how it feels?” That’s simple willingness to be willing became a turning point for me that gave me permission to open up to possibilities, to new ideas, and new ways of thinking or considering that I never thought of or considered before. In opening up to them, it didn’t mean that I would forego everything I ever believed. It meant I was willing to entertain a new idea or a new thought. 

When we are in this journey of inward discovery, there are going to be times where those beliefs that we’ve had, that we struggle with, that are painful, and are not serving us, that we have to look at and say, “Am I willing to open up to the idea that there might be a better way to see something or to experience something? Even if that feels too big, am I willing to be willing?”  

On this journey that we walk, there’s often that willingness to be willing. As we gain experience with the inward journey, we begin to know ourselves a little more deeply and a little more intimately. We get to know something about ourselves that’s much more, and that we’re part of something greater. We get to know our journey and ourselves more intimately. When uncertainty and confusion arise, we can use our past inward experiences to develop the trust to explore further. We can be honest with ourselves and ask if we are willing to move through the doubt and confusion. Even if it feels scary, freaky or whatever, we can determine if we have had enough experience to feel some confidence in being willing to explore. If it does not feel good to be willing then maybe we can ask if we are willing to be willing.   

I’ve had to do that in my journey. In the instance where I was speaking with my director, the best I could do is to be willing to be willing in this inward journey. My inward dialogue went something like this, “I want to go, but this is scaring me. I know it’s calling me. I know I want to do this, but I need to do it in a way that feels safe to me.” That’s what that willingness to be willing did for me.  

In addition to being willing on this inward journey, there is what I consider to be a companion to it and that is being open. Willingness is the idea that I’m going to check it out. Openness asks questions like, “Am I willing to be open?” “Am I be willing to be receptive to this new idea – to listen and play with it? Would I put the idea on? What would it be like if I took this idea and I applied it in my life, or I applied it to this situation or this condition?” 

Are you willing to experience who you are in wondrous ways? Click To Tweet

That inward journey will call for me as it will call for you to be open to what it is that you yet don’t know. There is so much that we have no clue about. When they say I haven’t even scratched the surface, it’s like, “I haven’t even put my pen to the surface to scratch it because the surface is wow.” Even in the vastness of this experience that we get to discover, we get to do it in a way that’s intimate to who we are, that connects us in an intimate way. When we’re moving in this journey inward, we’re going to play with this concept of, “Am I willing to be willing? If I am, am I willing to be open to the possibility of new ideas?” 

I remember one time in this class I was taking, I was asked to remove the word that I had come to understand for the creator of my life. I had to practice for an entire week in my relationship with it, not using the name I had always given it. The experience was wild. At first, it was like, “What?” My instructor was like, “Let go of what you previously have identified the creator as, and be willing to explore how you perceive the source that you’re from.” At first, it was weird because all my life I had used this one particular descriptive word as a name. What was amazing is that one simple word had within it a multitude of associations that I was not even aware of until I began to try to find new ways to identify it for me, to explain it to myself, and to communicate with it. It had a name, but instead of a name, I had to use descriptive terms. It was very interesting to begin to play with in my own mind. How do I perceive it? How do I understand it to be? How do I relate to this thing that I have known as my creator? Is that what I call it? Is that what it means? 

I took that week and it was the most eye-opening experience. I gave myself permission to open up to the possibility that what I think I’ve known all my life may even be bigger and more beautiful than I realized. That sense of expansiveness was the gift of being open. That inward journey asked me then and continues to do so. “Are you willing, Rebecca, to experience who you are in wondrous ways? Are you willing to let go of the ideas that you have about stuff, the beliefs that you have about yourself, about people or things that have kept you stuck? Are you willing to open up to the idea that there’s a new way to see?”  

For me, those two principles of action, being willing and being open, have been powerful vehicles for helping me to authentically walk my journey. I didn’t walk it thinking, “This is great! I love this stuff!” Instead, I responded to the call of an idea. I was fascinated by it and I liked it, but I went kicking and screaming at times when it challenged what I thought I knew.” 

I can’t tell you the number of times that I was up in the director’s face, challenging everything that came out of her mouth because I wasn’t going to put myself through anybody’s garbage. I had decided I was going to find this out on my own. I wanted to know and have it be real to me, and not somebody else’s definition, nor somebody else’s understanding. It was mine. I wanted an authentic connection and relationship to whatever this thing was. I now have my names for the Creative Source, and my connection with it has expanded because of that. It has been quite the journey, which is why I sit here talking with you.  

It’s not often an easy experience sharing these intimate things. It is so personal for each of us. My story is mine. It doesn’t mean somebody else going to walk the same journey. It’s my hope to explain this in a way that creates a space for you to explore your own thoughts. If what I am sharing resonates then play around with the ideas to see if and how they can serve you on your journey. 

When we’re looking at this inward journey, see it as a gift that we give ourselves.  One that enables us to learn how to embrace and work with more of who we are so that we can have and create a life that has greater value for us. The journey offers us a greater sense of freedom, a greater experience of love, peace, connection, happiness, financial, personal prosperity, and health. Those are all experiences that belong on this path. That is why I chose to do walk it for myself and to share it with you. It does matter. I hope to the degree that this connects for you, it will serve you well. 

I’d love to find out from you what your thoughts are about what I shared about willingness, openness, and this idea of the spiritual journey. What it might be for you to put aside the given name you have for your creator (if you have a name) for one week and to commune with it using other descriptors. How would you identify it? What would you call it? Would you call it anything? Please share it with me. It would be wonderful. I’ve chosen not to share any of my descriptors at this point, only for encouraging the freedom of people to explore their own process. I hope that you have enjoyed our time together. I would love it if you let me know your thoughts and share your ideas. Until we meet again, I celebrate you, and here’s to your life.