Women Empowerment: Taking The Inward Journey In A Time Of Discrimination And Negativity

 

As humans, we all are impacted by the societies within which we live. It is difficult enough to figure out who we are and what’s important to us, let alone to be a person who wants to build a career in areas traditionally dedicated to certain groups of people. The role of women in business continues to expand but is still limited not only by men who are fearful but by women who have not claimed within themselves their right to professional success. For women empowerment to work in leadership, they must start to look inward and claim what they can bring into the business, as well as how to influence the very nature of how the business is transacted. Rebecca Victor explains how women can rise as leaders by dedicating themselves to a single powerful purpose while gathering the courage to fight negativity, discrimination, and ideals that do not serve them or help them grow.  

—

Listen to the podcast here:

Women Empowerment: Taking The Inward Journey In A Time Of Discrimination And Negativity 

I want to talk about the idea of the inward journey and how practicing turning inward helps us live in the world in ever-larger, grander, and more expansive ways. This subject came up for me when I was listening to a woman who I respect greatly. She’s sharing a story of her being in an audience and listening to a principal officer of a media company talk about how he became aware of how women in media were treated differently than men in media. As he observed the comments, women in media by far had significantly more negative comments than their male counterparts. He became aware of that. Not only were they negative comments, but they weren’t comments designed to help these women improve their skillsets. 

They were negative and negating. He found that very eye-opening. It’s one thing when people talk about it, and then he starts to see the numbers and the information. She shared how that impacts her and the work that she does in working with other women who are stepping out and sharing their voice, and realizing that some of those comments might be valid. Maybe you’re using too many ums or uhs, or it might help if you speak a little more slowly. Those are valuable and beneficial. When somebody starts to talk about how you look or your hair or teeth or negative comments for the sake of negativity that have nothing to do with what you’re about, what do you do with those thoughts? How do you function when that type of information is coming to you?  

I wanted to talk about how the inward journey can help us do that, especially as women. All human beings engage in this need to create, this need to expand. For women often, throughout history, that expansion has been tailored to move in a certain direction that might not serve where they want to go. Women want to create in new and different ways. If they dare to step out in directions that have been conventionally male-oriented, there’s a huge backlash at times. It’s like, how do women respond to that and how can turning inward help? 

What you bring into the world does not depend on the opinions and thoughts of other people. Click To Tweet

Becoming Aware And Taking Ownership

One of the gifts of turning inward enables us to become more aware. First of all, we develop a sense of awareness about who it is that we are. The journey inward requires that we let go of all the outer perceptions about ourselves so that we can get quiet and become open to learning something more, become aware that there is something more than just what we have been told. There’s something far grander that awaits our learning, that awaits for us to know, but unless we’re quiet to become available to it, to hear that inward voice, that inward guidance, all we hear is the outer noise, someone else’s opinions, someone else’s thoughts. Rather than pause and say, “Do those thoughts have real value in our lives?” We’re so acclimated to listening to those thoughts. We do whatever we need to do to modify according to whatever is being stated or apologize, “I’m sorry, I was wrong,” when in fact you may not have been wrong. 

When we’re focused externally, all of a sudden that voice, that awareness of, “What do I think about this? What is that I feel? What does this mean to me?” We’re not aware of because the focus is placed on what’s happening outside of ourselves. When we turn inward is when we start to become aware, “What do I think of this? What is my feeling? What is my thought?” It takes us another level deeper. “Who am I in this awareness of what I think? Who am I?” In that understanding, we get this chance to look and say, “This is who I am. Who is it that’s talking to me?” when this other person is sharing information. First of all, what are they sharing it from? Who are they to share that information with me?” 

This is important because in the inward journey, as we begin to explore and learn about ourselves, one of the things that happen is we discover that we have ownership over what we think, what we feel, and what we believe. That ownership determines for us whatever actions we’re going to take or lack of action we’re going to take. We each have ownership of our own stuff. Whether the stuff we have ownership over feels good or bad. We each have ownership of our own stuff, our own life. That’s empowering to know. It can feel scary to know because it’s like, “I’m the one responsible for changing it.” That’s also empowering because you are the one who can change it, who can modify it, who can choose something different. 

There’s great power in that understanding and awareness. What it allows us to do as individuals, especially as women, is to begin to take authority over our own thought processes. Am I seeing myself as less than here? If so, is that what I want to continue holding on to? If not, do I want something different? Do I want something that’s more life-enhancing for me? Maybe my lack of confidence came because I was given ideas that I bought into that don’t serve me. Ideas that say because I’m a woman, I can’t possibly do X, Y and Z? Even though consciously I say, “No, that’s not true,“ there might be an underlying subconscious belief in that. 

As we turn inward, there are times that those ideas start to show up for us so that we can become aware that they are there. We can say, “I see this in my life and I want to change it. I want to let go of this idea of not being enough or being inadequate.” When women start to step out in wonderful ways, they feel the imposter syndrome, “I don’t have enough.” In fact, most of the time, women are well-prepared to step into what they’re stepping into because that’s part of what they do to make sure that they can stand and own their authority in going for something and reaching for something. When we turn inward, what it enables us to do is not only become aware of who we are and aware of what we’re believing but enables us to become aware of what is not ours. That when somebody is hammering or throwing comments our way, that the recognition that whatever is coming out of their mouth, whatever thoughts are being shared, it doesn’t matter who they are. Those thoughts, those ideas belong to them.  

 

None Of My Business

In my journey of understanding who I am in relation to others and what I can choose to accept and take in, and what I can choose to let go of, there was a great book that was introduced to me by a woman by the name of Terry Cole-Whittaker. It was called What You Think of Me is None of My Business. I love that title because at the time it entered into my life, I believed that everybody’s opinion mattered to me because they’re the ones that tell me how I am appearing externally. I must shift and modify who I am so I can come across better, without realizing that often what they were presenting to me wasn’t about me. It had to do with their own stuff. By trying to shift, mold, and move myself around to fit whatever they’re telling me I need to fit, what they’re telling me may not have been conducive to what I’m trying to create. It may not have been supportive. It might be just their issue. 

I seem a likely candidate that they want to place or push their issue onto me if that’s making sense to you. I had one time where I was in a situation, a woman was hammering me and telling me what she thought of me. I had put my hand up and said, “Whatever you choose to think about me doesn’t belong to me. If you’ve got something of value to present that will assist me in improving what I am doing so that I can make a better, more positive difference then I’ll listen to you. Other than that, whatever you’re spewing at me doesn’t belong to me. That is your business.” I turned around and walked away. 

It was powerful for me to own it when as a woman, I was working in an all-male environment. These men were struggling. I was in a construction environment and I was an OSHA inspector. I was the only female working in this office and within the state. They had a difficult time with that. One individual had a difficult time with it and he made it known. I thought, am I going to allow this man’s opinion of me to thwart what I’m about and what it is that I want to create? I thought, “No,” but I had to also figure out a way that I could hold my own and let him have his stuff while I proceeded to move forward to become a good OSHA inspector despite this man’s opinion. This man’s opinion didn’t jive with what he thought a woman should do, that this was not a job for a woman. 

Not only was this not a job for a woman, but I also wasn’t pretty enough according to him. I didn’t have long legs that went up to her butt. It was amazing to get this information. I could have gone down the toilet had I not had any sense of awareness, trying to all of a sudden apologize for being because I wasn’t whatever he thought I needed to be. Therefore, I would go ahead and try to find another job, because I didn’t have what it took. No. It’s sexist, buddy. I didn’t need to be mouthy at that point because that doesn’t serve me well, but I do know within my own being what I intended to do. I did know what was mine and what wasn’t. I was clear about it in myself and took action accordingly. I allowed what happened between us to benefit me. 

When we went out, he threw me out to the wolves and said, “Too bad. You’re going to have to sink or swim.” I thought, “Okay, fine. I will swim.” In that instance, I didn’t swim. I floundered because I had to present my case and I lost my case. What I learned as a result of having lost my case, enabled me to win every other case after that. That was empowering that I took that information and I allowed it to work for me, and that I didn’t have to own his comments and thoughts about what it should be. That came as a result of internal awareness. It was that internal journey, that internal voice, that internal sense of who it is and was that I am. 

Owning our own magnificence is not about negating anybody but simply owning our own and bringing it to life. Click To Tweet

Stepping Out Into The World

As a woman, when you step out into the world, there’s something in you that you feel impassioned to step out in ways you’ve not stepped out before. You know that you’ve never done it, but yet you feel called to it and you’ve got certain skillsets, but can you say that those skillsets are going to serve you as well as you think in your imagination? You don’t know that. When somebody challenges you, it can be easy to move into imposter syndrome, doubt, and step back from the desire to be expanding, to bring more into the world and service to you learning about who you are. 

When that happens, when somebody challenged you as you’re stepping out to create big things, it’s okay to turn within to say, “Who is it that I know myself to be? Let me get quiet. Let me listen to me. Not to the stuff that’s happening outside of me, but let me listen to me. Let me sense. Let me feel. Let me get to know this part of me that wants to stretch, grow, and bring something wonderful into being.” That inward journey gives us that opportunity to get to know ourselves and thus, as we step out, we can take more chances. As we take more chances, we can stand in our own authority. 

Standing in our own authority and understanding of ourselves doesn’t mean everything’s going to turn right. It doesn’t mean everything’s going to turn wrong. Things are going to happen. What it does mean is that when they do, we respond to them more authentically and more in integrity with who we are. It feels better. From that level of integrity and authenticity, there is a strength, understanding, wisdom that we have, that we don’t have if we’re not connected and paying attention to who we are, and listening, sensing, knowing. When we turn within, we align and listen. We’re in a board room, and we have something we want to bring, and we feel that we’re not being heard. What do we do? 

Do we pause and get quiet because nobody’s listening, and then we watch as some other person who happens to be a man says the same thing and all of a sudden, it’s heard? We sit disgruntled because they didn’t hear us, and then we make it about them? Those actions that they’ve incurred might be about them. The idea is when we’re in that boardroom and those things are occurring, what is it that we are feeling within ourselves so that we can become aware of how we play a role in accepting that kind of behavior? 

 

Do we play a role thinking that we don’t have any other choice, that we have to accept it because that’s the way it is, or can we turn within, get quiet, pay attention, listen? When I say listen, it’s not necessarily with ears. It’s with our whole being because it shows up in many different ways. Do we recognize that that’s where they are at? Just because they happen to be there, that doesn’t mean that the goals that I have for myself, the impact that I want to make, the difference I want to make, the things I want to bring into the world are going to be stopped. They are not going to be stopped by what I consider narrow-mindedness. It’s going to show up in another way. I’m going to open up to how it’s going to show up. 

It may mean that all of a sudden an idea comes across, and a way of verbalizing what you’re wanting to bring about starts to come into your mind. In another way, you bring about what you’re creating. There’s no need to try to get them to modify their opinions or thoughts because what you’re bringing to the world doesn’t depend upon them. As a woman in business, as a leader, as somebody who’s got a dream and a vision wants to bring forth, it’s you. It’s what you’re willing to hold onto to bring forth within you, and to know that as we get quiet and turn within, all kinds of ideas come up to bring that about. Ways that if we’re open to them might not necessarily be traditional, but are we about being traditional? Are we about creating space for what it is that we want to bring into the world to happen? 

Changing Others

It might mean that something happens and you’re right there attentive to it, and synchronicity shows up, and the thing that you’re looking for, the thing that you’re seeking isn’t there. It could be that you look, listen, and sit disappointed because you haven’t been heard yet again. You figured out how to try to change others when where the change needs to be is within you, a change that says that who and what you are, and what you want to bring to the world is valid, of value, and is worthy of your time and energy. That there are all kinds of ways that if we open to that if you open to that enables that to unfold and happen. 

By turning inward, people become more aware not only of their beliefs but also of the things that are not theirs. Click To Tweet

If you spend your time trying to convince somebody who doesn’t believe, then you’re trying to convince somebody that doesn’t want to believe. I don’t know about you, but whenever I try to push against something, the thing I push back against gets a little more contentious. In this arena where as women, we are stepping up because the role of women is expanding because it’s expanding within women ourselves. All of us, our feeling to some degree, a greater call to own our own magnificence. In owning our own magnificence, it’s not negating anybody else’s, it’s simply owning our own and bringing it to life. Women are birthers of a new consciousness, a new way of being and doing business, a new way of engaging. 

They are the birthers of this. We are the birthers of this. It’s not that men aren’t part of it. They are, but as women, we can’t wait for someone else to acknowledge and recognize that. Where the real power exists is within us, within you, within me. The inward journey is that which allows us to become more aware of who we are, of the possibilities that exist for us. As we do that, we become more open and we begin to see more about ourselves. That at least in my life has tremendous power. When I say power, I’m not talking about power over something. It is a power of expression. The strength that is there. 

As we step forward to create in the world, and someone out there is struggling with that. They don’t like it, especially when you’re looking at a lot of these different women who are newscasters or broadcasters, and there’s all this information that’s coming at them that’s designed in a negative, almost cruel way that has nothing to do with what they are professionally doing. One of the greatest gifts is to turn within, own who they know to be, so they know what belongs and what doesn’t, and to turn it back over for whatever those opinions are belong to the person giving them. In the process of doing it, recognize that if there are ideas being shared that have value to help them improve so that they can be more impactful, that they’ll have that wisdom to note that as well. 

I encourage you to continue that process inward. If you’re new at it, understand that it takes time to develop this skill, turning within and listening in a way that feels passive, but learning to trust what you’re receiving, learning to trust your intuition takes practice like anything else. It takes practice for you to become aware of, “When I hear this, this is how my intuition is communicating with me. I didn’t quite hear that.” In one way, it shows us how our intuition is connecting and communicating with us, how we are hearing it and in ways that we’re not. As we experience it and play with it more, we become better at it. It is an active participatory experience. 

I hope as you step out in the world, as you dare to lend your voice, passion, presence, strength, gifts to a vision, to an idea that is calling you to stretch beyond what you’ve ever done or been, that you remember to turn within, so that you can feel and know the magnificence of who you are, and that you have a right to stand there, and engage in something bigger, so you can embrace more and more of this thing that you know is you. Thanks for reading. I hope that you have a great day exploring, experimenting, and getting to know you a little better. Cheers to your life. 

Important Links:

• What You Think of Me is None of My Business