Mary D. Mohn, LMT: Understanding Yourself And Discovering Your Life’s Purpose

 

The desire to connect with people is certainly an admirable thing, but the one important thing that we often forget is realizing what we really want to do. The art of understanding yourself does not come that easy. It requires an in-depth exploration of your inner self. Rebecca Victor talks with Mary D. Mohn, LMT to discover how she made her own inward journey that led to discovering what she really wanted to do. She explains how a Mathematics major, who was unable to find her purpose in accounting, took the leap and became a licensed massage therapist instead. Mary discusses how finding her life’s purpose impacted her mission to nurture others and the way she teaches her kids to do the same thing through walking and getting into labyrinths. 

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Listen to the podcast here:

Mary D. Mohn, LMT: Understanding Yourself And Discovering Your Life’s Purpose 

We’ve got a wonderful interview with Mary Mohn, a wonderful friend of mine who’s here to share her journey of what it is to turn inward, why she did it and how she’s experienced her life because of it. Before we allow Mary to share a little bit about herself, I want to read a short little bio of her. Mary has shared that she has her Bachelor’s of Science in Mathematics. She’s owned a used bookstore, managed a church office, and was a bookkeeper. She became a licensed massage therapist in 2020. 

She’s a wife, a mother of two sons, volunteers with PTO, scouting, and is dedicated to her spirituality and self-care. She opened her own massage practice, The Pause of Massage, in June of 2020. It is a great outlet for her to express her nurturing nature, paving a way for healing and wholeness to take place both for her clients and herself. Mary has found a calling that utilizes what comes naturally to her. Mary, I love that calling that comes naturally to you. My curiosity is how would you define that calling that comes naturally to you? 

I had been a bookkeeper for many years and I hit burnout. I got to the summer of 2018 and thought, “I can’t look at another tax return. I am so done.” My husband said, “Why don’t you quit?” I said, “If I quit, what am I going to do? I’m young. I’m not ready to retire.” He’s like, “Don’t worry about that. That will come to you. Give you two weeks’ notice and be done with it.” I did and it was so scary but at the same time so liberating. 

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I had not been taking time off. I had a couple of months‘ worth of paid leave and I thought, “I’m not going to rush into anything. I’m going to take my time, sit with it, and see what feels right with what I want to do with the rest of my life.” I need something that is not stressful. I cannot do stress anymore. I can’t do deadlines anymore. I need something that is calm, relaxing, and peaceful. Massage is all of those. I don’t know that I could do massage. I don’t know anything about the body but I do have that calm presence. I love helping people. I love connecting with people. I started researching massage schools and my husband is like, “So-and-so is a massage therapist. Why don’t you go to lunch with her? You can learn what it’s like instead of what the schools are trying to tell you and the job would be like.”  

Again, out of my comfort zone to go to lunch with a woman I didn’t know but if I’m going to pursue this, I should know what I’m getting into. She was lovely but intimidating. Her style is so different from mine but she told me, she’s like, “With your accounting background, you would be a natural because you would already know the business end of it. That’s what so many massage therapists don’t know. They learn the techniques of massage but they have no idea how to run a business. You would have a natural leg up.” I thought I could blend what I already know without the stress because it would be for my own numbers. I would be the only one delaying myself and doing the bookkeeping end of things.  

She told me about this school to look into and I did. One thing led to another and here we are, two years later, I’m doing it. There was a lot of stepping out in faith and trusting that if it was right, it would fall into place. If it wasn’t right then, it wouldn’t work out. There were multiple nights that I would drive home from school. I had class two nights a week from 6:00 to 10:00 at night. My classes was a 35–minute drive and I’d drive home. I’d be crying and I’d call my mom, “I don’t know if I can do this.” She’s like, “Yes, you can. One class at a time.” There’d be quarters that I love that were totally my thing. I kept saying, “You got to do what you got to do to get through school. Once you graduate, then you can focus on the areas that are what you like to do,” which is exactly what I’m doing now. 

What was it that caused you to go, “I can’t believe I can do this?” 

My calling is in nurturing and the parts that were hard for me were more of the sports massage. Learning how to engage a muscle and force it to relax. I’m much more of a let’s breathe into it. One thing they told us in school was, “Don’t ever be concerned about someone even having three other massage businesses in your strip plaza because each massage therapist is so unique in what they offer.” Not only their touch but their demeanor and what their specialties are. That didn’t make sense to me as a business person. What are you talking about? That‘s a direct competition but now that I’m a massage therapist, I’m like, “Everyone is so unique in what they offer.” 

You are a nurturer that’s for sure that I can’t see how difficult it would have been to do that hardcore of, “Let’s get into it and force the muscle.” 

That’s not my style. 

 

I can see how that would definitely not be a comfortable thing for you at all. Did you ever think that you would want to be a massage therapist growing up or the healing arts? 

The funny thing was my very first massage was a gift from my first job in a CPA office. His mother was a massage therapist and at the end of tax season, he gave me a gift certificate to her. I thought, “That’s strange but okay.” It was the most amazing thing and I loved it. She did a phenomenal job. I admire her so much. Even then, I had never thought that it would be something that I would do. 

I know we’re talking about the inward journey and we’ll get to that too. What did you use to help you go, “I‘m going to give this a shot,” besides talking to that lady? What was it that you wanted to say, “I‘m going to invest time, money, and energy in this?” 

I spent a lot of time outside. I took a lot of walks, went out into the woods with my dog, and was open to, “What’s my next step? What is going to bring me the most joy? What is going to serve the world the best? What are my talents that I want to share? How can I cultivate that?” I want to be excited about going to work every day because when I’m doing that then others are benefiting and I’m benefiting, and it’s a win-win. I did a lot of soul–searching in the silence out in nature where there were no distractions. I took time away from my husband and kids so that I could get quiet and feel my way through what was my next step. 

What were some of the indicators that you went, “This is my next step?” What do you look at in your inward journey? Is that hard to describe? 

I went and I looked at two different schools. One was closer but it had a terrible feel to it for me. It was very corporate. The students that were there did not look happy. From going to lunch with this woman, she was the one that directed me to this other school and going to the other school. There were fewer students and they were super engaged. It was more of what I could envision myself there. If I would have only gone into the one school that was more corporate, I wouldn’t be a massage therapist today because it didn’t feel right to me. I knew it wasn’t my authentic place to be. I felt like that was the universe nudging me by my payoff for having gone to lunch with this woman. 

My payoff for being brave enough to call the school and get a tour. Literally, I went on a Monday for a tour and the class was starting the very next Monday. If I was going to register, I had to register within two days in order to make the cut for that class. Otherwise, my class started on October 1st and the next class wasn’t starting until April 1st. I’m like, “I don’t want to lose that much time. I got to decide. Am I going to do this or not do it?” I‘m like, “I think this is another sign that I’m supposed to do it.” I don’t have the time to think too deeply about it. I need to make a decision. It was like, “I’m going to say yes.”  

Those are big decisions. When you were building on that and working toward that decision, we’re talking about that inward journey and you’re here because you practice an inward journey. I wanted people to get to know the story of your inward journey so that they had an opportunity to explore the many ways that there are right for each of us to tap into that which is unique and honoring to who we are. When you think about where you are in making this decision, how did your inward journey help you? When did it begin and would you mind sharing a bit? 

I was raised in Christian Science which gave me a very strong foundation of praying, going into the silence, and trusting my gut. That gave me a strong foundation and a belief that everything is happening for my highest good always even when it doesn’t look like it. I have a deep trust that as long as I am honoring myself and others, it’s all going to work out the way that it needs to and that’s huge. I didn’t realize how big a gift that was until I was around more people that’s not how they live their lives. There’s a lot of fear out there.  There’s a lot of “People are out to get me, you have to work hard for everything that you get,” and that’s not my philosophy. Therefore, it hasn’t been my experience either. 

You haven’t put it out there. The power of our beliefs. The power of our thoughts to affect what we experience. I love when you’re talking about trusting your gut. You, as a mother, how do you translate all that information to your sons? 

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That is a struggle sometimes because they don’t always want to listen to what I have to say. I‘ve had to try and be a little more subtle in my delivery of it. Have it be more in spoonful bites rather than a whole pie to the face. I try and encourage them to be paying attention to what their gut is telling them. I had reinforced with them that I don’t have all the answers. They’re the ones that have the answers. The answers are within.  

Therefore, you got to be willing to be quiet, listen, not make impulse decisions, and sit with things but you generally have a nudging of where your gut or your heart is going, “This feels right to me.” Both of my boys have that instinct and it’s been cultivated in our home that you listen to that even when it goes against what my husband and I feel. It’s okay for you to make your own decisions. Don’t be disrespectful, but you know what’s right for you and we trust your judgment. That is an interesting experience for sure. That’s a huge teacher. 

How have you used your inward journey to helped you in that with your sons and parenting? 

Again, I walk every day. I typically do a walk in the morning and I do a walk in the evening and that disengages my hamster wheel. I got to get things accomplished, figure it out, and have it all planned. It forces me to step back and go, “Breathe. What’s the next most important thing? How can this unfold in the most harmonious way? What’s a different way that I can get this thought across that is less threatening or intimidating?” 

My sons are about to be 10 and 13 in 2021. There’s a lot of times now that they are adamant that I have no idea what I’m talking about. That’s hard. It’s hard not to get defensive and feel like I need to prove I’m right and I know what I’m talking about. Back off and go, “Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about or they do know something I don’t know.” How can we both listen to one another without feeling like we’re trying to prove our point or convince the other? Just listen. 

How have you found that helping you and helping your relationship with them?  

The best thing is when I can get them to go for a walk with me. We can meet at a different level than we would in the house where we’re still feeling that crunchiness and  division. They usually will if I say, “Let’s go for a walk.” They’re usually will jump on board pretty quickly because they’ve felt it enough to know it shifts the energy. 

I do that with my boys and we would walk. Nature is so nurturing and soothing. Walking is a way that energy can get out, which creates space for communication. It doesn’t have to come out in the word. You could see it’s coming out in body movement, the dialogue can come out the words, and everything else. It helped us tremendously too. When you have walked your journey, when did you notice that a lot of other people were not following or did not have an internal journey? They didn’t look inside or they didn’t get quite to cultivate that?  

Probably, starting it in college when I was exposed to a whole lot more people from different backgrounds. Christian Science is a very small denomination. It’s not like I ever had friends that had the same beliefs that I did but I went to Wright State and being there, you’ve got every possible philosophy there is. That’s my first exposure to, “There are a lot of people that don’t think how I think.” I’ve been accused so many times of having rose–colored glasses and I feel like it’s meant as a put-down. I consider it a huge compliment because it serves me well. I have a magnificent life that I love. My rose–colored glasses are awesome. Thank you for noticing. 

Isn’t that interesting that the journey, that turning inward has enabled you to create a life where you get to see it the way you want to see it? 

Everybody has that opportunity but so many people aren’t even aware that how they feel is a choice. You can always choose again. That’s one thing I’ve also tried to put with my kids, “If you don’t like how something is going, make a different choice. Nothing is set in stone.” 

That’s important. We often will identify who we are by those choices. The choices are indications of what we think we know and not necessarily who we really are. 

We can get stuck in doing what’s familiar and comfortable because it’s scary to make a change. That was another benefit with me changing careers and going back to school. My boys saw me raw. They knew it was not a cakewalk going back to school in my mid-40s. I had to work hard at it and that was good for them. They would help me study with my anatomy flashcards and they can tell how happy I am now with what I’m doing compared to how I was when I was doing tax returns. There were certain months that you knew mom was stressed out and you had to walk softly. That doesn’t happen now. Now, I’m pretty laid back and happy most of the time. 

That’s what I‘ve appreciated watching you through the years that we’ve known one another how you have made that decision through your own internal journey to honor what your interpretation of it is because there are so many different ways. That’s another reason too and I’m grateful you’re sharing because the world is changing so much and there’s so much happening that causing a lot of fear and a lot of doubt.  

There’s a lot of fear being fostered intentionally. How do we let go of that when logically our mind wants to go to the thing that keeps us but we think secure and safe when in fact often it’s starting to play a tape that has reality because we’re focusing on it. As you said, “Thank you for accusing me of having rose–colored glasses. I‘m quite happy.” I don’t think we know how powerful we are as individuals. 

Our thoughts create our reality. 

When you would go in, would you necessarily hear things, get nudges, or senses, because people experience this internal communication and guidance differently. As you said, when you walk in the woods, would you hear a voice or would you get a sense of it or what? 

Occasionally, I would hear a voice. Usually, it was an internal sensation. A lot of times, it would be followed up by someone randomly getting in touch with me and telling me something that was like arrow pointing in the next direction. That has happened to me so many times where I’ve been like, “Should I or shouldn’t I?” Out of the blue, someone would go, “Did you know about so-and-so?” I go, “I was reading about that.” It would be that kind of confirmation of like, “I’m on the right path here.”  

 

Did it take you time to get to trust that or is that something because you started young that you had? 

It was strong for a long time. There was a period where I backed off because of the people that I was hanging around with but I thought, “This might be too hokey or I’m fooling myself.” I had a period where I was on my own for about four years. In that solitude, it’s when I grew into trusting myself more, believing in myself, and knowing that the answer is right within me that I don’t need anyone else to be telling me what to do or how to do it. It’s an inherent knowingness. 

Have you ever had a struggle turning within and a struggle with that experience searching for something and it not coming? How have you seen your relationship and your trust growing with this journey? 

I have had a few times, not a ton, where I have thoughts that I had lost the connection. I couldn’t hear that inner voice anymore or I didn’t feel that I was worthy enough of the voice. I had that strong of a disconnect and those are the dark night of the soul where you think, “How am I going to survive this?” I do a lot of writing. When I’m in that state and it’s not what I am, I write so that I can document what it is that I’m feeling. 

Down the road, I can go, “That was where I was at but it wasn’t the truth of who I am.” It was my perception at that time. I listened to a lot of music. Music is a great trigger for me to change my emotional state of being. I can do it in either direction. I have certain CDs that bring me down intentionally. I listened to them so that I can allow myself to grieve. I have those CDs that I listened to that lift me up when it’s like, “I’m getting too dangerous to the bottom. I got to pump it up.” Music is very powerful for me.  

When you do turn inward, what type of practices did you use? One you talked about was walking.  

I don’t do it nearly often enough but I absolutely adore walking labyrinths. They help get me out of my intellectual, trying to solve the problem brain. They forced me to go, “I can’t figure it. I have to let go.” It shifts something in my brain as I’m walking into the center where I almost get pissed off that I can’t solve it like, “What’s wrong with me that I don’t know the answer yet.” By the time I get to the center of the labyrinth, I usually sit down and have a quiet time there. When I walk out, I’m flooded with all kinds of information. Some of it makes sense. Some of it doesn’t but I always document what comes to me because eventually, it becomes relevant. 

Would you mind sharing a little bit about what a labyrinth is for those who don’t know what it is?  

A labyrinth is a maze. My favorite kind is the ones that are based on the Labyrinth in Chartres, France. Basically, it’s a one–way in, one-way out path that weaves back and forth but you’re not making any choices. You’re walking along the path and it eventually leads you into the center. You can have your contemplative of time in the center, you turn back, and you walk your way back out. It takes out any decision-making or problem–solving.  

The fact that you’re weaving, it’s not like it’s a straight path to the center. You can’t see how you think like you get so close to the center but that’s not when you get to the center. You still weave. They’re wonderful spiritual tools. We’ve got a couple here in Dayton that is lovely. My favorite one got torn down and I was pretty sad about that. Anytime Mark and I go on our mystery trips, I always look to see when whatever town we’re going to if there’s one in the town and it’s amazing the different insights that you get. 

Have there been a lot of them in the different places you’ve gone? 

Almost every place we’ve gone, I‘ve managed to find one. 

Is it an outdoor one? 

They’ve almost all been outdoor ones. 

What did you do? Look up labyrinth? 

It’s www.LabyrinthLocator.com or something like that. It’s a great website. You can look by state and then within, it gives the cities, where they’re located, and what type of labyrinth it is. If it’s open to the public, if it’s indoor, outdoor, what the hours are, and if there’s a cost to doing it. There are lots that are better outside and free. It’s a wonderful resource. 

I knew the one in the south of Dayton and Bergamo. There’s one, the Unity of Dayton North. They have one in their back. I don’t think those are torn down. 

Those are all still there. There was one that was right next to the Masonic Temple in Downtown Dayton. That’s the one that got torn down. There’s one up at Harmony Farms. That’s a lovely one too. That’s up near Tipp City. 

Is that still there? 

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It was December of 2019. I didn’t go up there at all in 2020. 

That’s another way for you to connect. It’s moving the labyrinth, going outside, and journaling. Do you do any contemplative and music you talked about? Those are some real keys. Do you do any reading or meditating? Do you meditate in those processes?  

A lot of my walks are very meditative. I have tried numerous times and doing a meditative practice at home. It does not last very long for me. I have a tendency to get interrupted on a very regular basis. I am an avid reader. I love books. Those are always a great resource for me.  

How have you found your understanding of who you are evolving by turning with it? Has it evolved over time? 

It has. One of the things that I do annually and it’s a phenomenal book. I bring the book with me every year but I very rarely even have to refer to it now. It’s a process called Your Best Year Yet! I do it in January of every year and I take 3 or 4 hours. You review what’s happened in your life in the last year. What have you achieved? What have been your disappointments? You go through, what are the roles that I want to play in the next year? You come up with your top ten roles and then you rate yourself each role of, how am I as a mother? How am I as a massage therapist? How am I as a volunteer? You see where are the areas that you feel that you’re deficient in. 

You can emphasize those for setting goals for the new year and then you set goals for each role. You pick your top ten, which is hard. Especially for me, I can come up with a ton of goals for every role that I am in. I’ve been doing this for many years. It’s amazing the clarity that it gives me of, who do I want to be this year? Where do I want to put the most focus and energy? What is the most important thing to me right now? To look over what I’ve accomplished blows my mind every year. It’s part of why I love the process because I’m able to document what happened. Tons of things happen every year that we don’t even acknowledge. I appreciate the ritual of reviewing what happened and what are the new things that I want to experience in this coming year. 

A lot of people don’t want New Year’s resolutions or setting goals. You feel you fail at them before you even get to February. My process for it has been entirely different. I’m grateful that I haven’t had that experience of feeling like I’ve failed. Part of it is I make this a cheat sheet of what my top ten goals are. You come up with your mission statement for the year, what is my purpose, and what is the lead role that I want to play this year. I print it out and I have it right by my bathroom sink so that I see it every time I’m washing my hands. It’s right there and I go, “That was a lofty statement that I created for this year. Am I living that now?” I love it. It has served me very well, staying anchored in, knowing who I am and who I am wanting to become. 

When you’re looking at someone who is considering this who hasn’t done this type of work, what would you recommend? Why would you recommend it to them? What are some suggestions that you would share that you think might be of value to someone who’s looking to turn within, pay attention, learn about who they are, and get that guidance from that place?  

I’d say acknowledge your own magnificence and how much is right within you and at your fingertips. Don’t be afraid of your own power. Go for it, live life, be happy, care less about what other people think, and just do you. 

I appreciate your taking time to be with us and to share your journey. It’s been a joy. I’ve walked with you, observe you doing yours, connecting, honoring, and watching your boys grow up learning from you and Mark. 

You’ve been through a lot of my life with me. We meet back when I was single.  

Opening up to that possibility in life. The big poignant question was, what is it that is mine to do? What am I to do? What is it for me right now in my journey to do and then to take the time to listen. I‘m a firm believer in affirming responses too? When responses come with judgment, they are not my inner voice. They are my inner judger. That internal guidance, that’s much grander and much greater than the human mind. As human minds geared for a specific purpose and it’s very good at it, that’s what it’s good at and there’s so much more to who we are than what the mind can serve.  

 

There’s that something more that’s felt in the heart that is felt intuitively. For me, it’s a positive thing. If this response that I get when I pose a question to something that is demanding we’re to do something, there’s no demand. The energy coming through is not demanding energy when it is energy from a grander space and a much more expansive understanding and an awareness. It’s an introduction to an idea. It’s a possibility presented with the understanding that in this place, as a human being, I get to make the decision with the information I get. 

One of my mantras is I cannot miss out on my good. If it’s meant to be, it is going to work out even if it doesn’t work out in the avenue you think, you’re good is coming to you. It can be hard to trust that, especially when you’re first starting out. It seems real airy–fairy but there’s a lot of power. You have to get into that place of trust, trusting yourself, following that gut and letting things unfold.  

How has it helped you during the pandemic? 

The pandemic hit right when I had one month left of school and I freaked out. It was so hard and so heartbreaking to not be able to finish school normally. The question was, “When are we going to be able to take finals? Is the state going to be open so I can get a license? When will I be able to practice?” There was a period when you couldn’t get massages in Ohio. I thought, “I’d been building up my momentum. I’ve been doing practices and massages for 1.5 years for free. I’m finally two months away from being able to start making money and it disappeared.” I lost it for a couple of weeks. I’m sure I gained fifteen pounds in those two weeks because I was eating myself silly.  

I finally hit a point about mid-April that we were able to take our final. I knew school was taken care of. At that point, that’s when I relaxed going, “It’s going to be what it’s going to be. I have no control. I need to relax into extra time with my family,” which is not a bad thing. I was so sad to lose that momentum. I had to remind myself, “You’re not losing anything. It’s still there. It’s not gone. It looks entirely different than what you thought it was going to look like.” I needed that time to recoup. I got more rest than I had in 5 or 10 years. That was very restorative for me to allow myself to sleep. 

There was some good time to balance myself out. There were some ugly moments for sure where I was very angry, depressed and frustrated that this was how it was coming to a close. I felt so much sympathy for all of the seniors that weren’t getting their proms and graduations. I was a full–grown adult and I was disappointed about not having my graduation from massage school. Let alone what it’d be like for a high schooler. I definitely felt a lot of compassion but we survived it.  

You grew from it. We let ourselves grow with it. We made that decision and choice and we’re on the other side of it. I’m still walking through stuff but you’re walking through it. I do want to thank you so much. It has been such a pleasure and a joy. For those of you who have enjoyed Mary’s story and sharing, I’ll have information too on some resources that she’s providing. She’d mentioned some music and the labyrinth information as well as the book that she uses. Some resources that if any of these sound interesting, you can check that out for yourselves. In the Dayton area, if you’re looking for a great massage, then you can check out Pause For Massage. Thank you so much for being with us.  

Thank you. 

It’s been such a joy, Mary and a joy to have those who are reading. We hope that you have a great day and celebrate this magnificent life that is yours in the way that ready to do that. Until then, remember, here’s to your life. 

Important Links:

• www.LabyrinthLocator.com  
• Your Best Year Yet!  
• https://ThePauseOfMassage.com/ 
• https://www.Facebook.com/The-Pause-of-Massage-LLC-111172663954282 
• https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/mary-mohn-a0532a101/